You were my town, now I’m in exile seeing you out. https://t.co/TJGonSr4PS

"Having a teen is sending an 'I love you' text and getting back a thumbs-up reply." https://t.co/JHocRUva9i

I’ll be seeing #13 in my nightmares. https://t.co/MiX7AB3Ri5

I should’ve studied. https://t.co/hBQrGfLy0g

Still wondering why every guy smells like pine. https://t.co/UkWMvrz5VF

It makes sense that she would want kids of her own. She’s 12 years younger than me, after all. https://t.co/Xx5E9bgHd4

The stuff of nightmares. https://t.co/0gC7kW1tyQ

“You can get a flu shot, a bottle of tequila, a Snickers bar, and pizza pockets all in the same place.” https://t.co/LN7IPtn4MP

Whoa, Nelly! https://t.co/Sjgqyz7hsQ

Finding it a little hard to “love thy neighbor” after this post... https://t.co/McFM49x9b2

Because sometimes, there’s nothing scarier than the credits. https://t.co/lNcwUJVcL6

No one talks about these things... https://t.co/y76Zc6ZsjK

Every year: I think I'm going to be something different for halloween. 

Every Halloween: https://t.co/kW8vnXk1eG

These tips are hot... https://t.co/x70llGzdrm

Spooky season is upon us which means it’s time to accessorize and decorate . https://t.co/u3jkqmZTYq

No one talks about these things... https://t.co/gDW6cymN6p

They're also all cooler than I'll ever be. https://t.co/lOiiXmwAuW

“Wait, WHO sings this...” —You https://t.co/7d4xKuhU1K

“I obviously didn’t get the part. That wasn’t my best moment.” https://t.co/VThJSLT44U

In this house, we ask W.W.S.J.D. (What Would Samantha Jones Do). https://t.co/qvSNJzEbLK