My favorite thanksgiving dish is booze

RT @hbomax: If I’m done with work, does that mean I get a medal from @BillyEichner too? https://t.co/muudRt2yFF

That look of hatred on our face while we wait as someone takes their slow ass time getting out of a grocery store parking spot

. @MrAlexisPereira is EDGARDO ALLAN POE https://t.co/fNkBnrFM4g

let us know which telenovela you'd like us to do

Guess what? New episodes of telenovelas are hell are on the way! https://t.co/4FmYbwJkni

a new episode of Guilty Party is streaming now on @paramountplus! https://t.co/03YSAhD49y

POV: my phone falling in the toilet https://t.co/wffhRdHbGG

day 1 at my job vs day 100 https://t.co/tKvvgf5pZZ

https://t.co/a4D7UiWz1V

me ignoring everyone in the zoom meeting while i look at myself https://t.co/9RzbJbTCDL

me on facetime just looking at myself https://t.co/vxQX2TziDh

Me to babies: No worries if snot.

A horror film, only it's an active LinkedIn profile you thought you deleted YEARS ago.

RT @reese_shapiro: #VP #KamalaHarris balls you the f*ck up!  ⛹🏽‍♀️ https://t.co/j6mMm39ESS

Tell me you watched Salad Fingers as a kid without telling me you watched Salad Fingers as a kid. I'll go first: I don't have friends.

Allison Reese (@reese_shapiro) here tweeting for FOD today. Very excited to find out if I'm funny or dead! I'm also interested to find out what this briefcase containing a single red "Death Ray" button is about and why they gave it to me.

RT @TheAVClub: Will Ferrell and Ryan Reynolds swap late-night appearances, just because https://t.co/9lC1N520UK https://t.co/1pX1BBtV8T

a new episode of Guilty Party is streaming NOW on @paramountplus! https://t.co/DA18KmWSY6

every day at 5pm https://t.co/Rs9AUo1R7z